Bipolar Diary

One of the things that many of us would find hard to deny is the paranoia that wracks us, the Bipolar. It all but destroyed me 2 years ago and the wash back of that is rearing it’s ugly head today . . . . I think.

It is just so hard to focus, there are things that really need my attention and I am suffering enormously from a financial catastrophe which keeps me teetering constantly not knowing how I am going to fall.

I struggle with the self medication of alcohol and illicit drugs in concert with my prescribed bipolar medication. Thankful I am not a wreck, otherwise I’ve not a clue what to do. Oh well . . .

The thing most on my mind is the news that there was a fatality at the firm I used to work at. I had many years there and was acquainted with the deceased. My heart hurts. I feel that my medication is still some off from where it should and to boot today is in a down swing, Just makes it all that much more better. Sadness overwhelms me and I am unable to write. Take Care All . . .