Bipolar Diary

No more vacation and I am back here in Colorado. Can’t say I didn’t have a great time and as I said before it is a rare to nonexistent feeling for me to have a good time or even know I am having a good time.

I took the picture below at Hood River at the Western Antique Aeroplane & Automobile Museum 2010-05-14. Nice pic!

And then this picture was taken in the Mt Rainier National Park ($15.00 per Carload)

It is good that I am able to give a vacation report aside from either how lousy I am feeling or what pain is tormenting me as well as whether or not the events I am experiencing are real or not. None of dire feelings are occurring and I genuinely am fine. Just great news.

I think maybe being on vacation has been the best medicine I have ever taken for I am feeling no pain, I am enjoying alot and if I knew otherwise I would think I was cured or more likely never a bipolar in the first place. So maybe there is hope, of what I could not really tell you. Some would ask were you possibly just a mild bipolar and not completely afflicted? I can teel you one thing for sure is that I do enjoy writing, blogging and such that from September 2009 until early 2010 I was so paralyzed with my affliction that I was unable to write, internet market or much else. It was a struggle to maintain at work and be somewhat productive in paying my way at work and had I been in another professional position I would not have had a job. So just short of a miracle I would probably say I am still bipolar, but really really feeling GOOD!

This picture was taken in Hood River Oregon at the Columbia River Canal Locks on 2010-05-13.

I may not have mentioned it but I really enjoy photography and can actually say that I do pretty well by it. Sooner or later I will try to get a gallery of photos that I take up and can say that amoung other things I am a pretty good writer also. I have written a number of ebooks, mostly on internet subjects and how-to for craigslist, twitter, google adsense and other popular marketing subjects. For my faithful I will make available totaly FREE to you, any and all if you desire just send me an email to ebooks@bipolarydiary.com tell what you would like or what type of ebooks you like or just ask for the whole list of what I have available. Yours FREE as I said for being one of my faithful readers and if you like I will do the same for all your family and friends. Not cost, no gimmick.

I will end on that note – keep reading, learn, live happy and share.

YES! Share. A note about that.

PLEASE PLEASE! leave a comment below telling me of yourself, about your affliction and how it affects you. You can state you comment is PRIVATE to me or you would like to share it with all of my readers. Leave some sort of note telling me what you like about my writing, what you don’t like. Is there something you would like to see me write about, am I lucid enough to be understandable. Are you feeling my pain and my joy? Tell me, please if you would. Share your thoughts and message with me.

DO YOU LIKE THE PICTURES? DO YOU WANT MORE? email me and let me know bipolarguy@bipolardiary.com

It is all good. I almost feel normal. Things have been normal at least the way I define it but really put much to that.

Went to Timberline Ski Area just outside Portland Oregon an did a few pictures of Mt Hood (see Below) and I would say looking good.

You know I really could get used to feeling like this I can’t say when the last time I felt this good and can’t really say if I have. Too Kool!

Is it really May already? Sometime in my delusional illusionist times I just get so totally lost up in the speeding time continuum. My efforts toward internet marketing are beginning to move a bit. I have done 2 videos for the linking to my main site if anyone cares Click Here to see or if you have any interest in the videos CLICK HERE to see them on YouTube and if you bother to watch any of the videos (about 50 of them) please take a moment to leave a comment on your thoughts. Bear in mind that when you see my stuff it is created by a manic and as we well know many people say that bipolars are really talented and I do believe I do fit that mold but not necessarily.

My talents run m ore in to the “Crystal Ball” arena. I try to look into the future and predict events and occurrences and the outcome of all of this. As a matter of fact I am very good when it comes to this and that is how I make my living, I am a “Cost Estimator” for Construction.

This is why it is so hard to be medicated because it clouds up my visions and the crystal ball is just smoky and cloudy. I do have a propensity to be a “Wild Ass Guesser” but I am not very good at it. Matter of fact if you run into some one who lays claim to this fame, DON NOT BUT SNAKE OIL FROM THEM for it is bound to be pure poison.

Talking about medication, and since I have no sense of then or now I am not sure as to whether or not I had commented on as to why I don’t like to be medicated. Mainly I feel must more alive when I am awake because the dose of depakote required to be therapeutic with me is about 2000mgs a day an 4 of them horse pills just takes all of the apatite right out of me.

I know it is not fair to the people around me, those that love and care for me that of the unpredictable nature that is the reality of not being medicated brings to my life and those around as well as the general public at large ( I once came to my senses only to find my self in a Downtown LA –10th and Main– in a crack bar hotel paying 100 dollars a night) one time when I was not medicated. Remind me to tell you of that one and of course we well know that there are many tales to be told by not being medicated, like the many time of homelessness and hopelessness of those situations, we will tell of them soon or later.

Fact of the matter I just can not function at the level I need to to be creative and alive although being a bipolar and saying that as it applies to me is almost an oxymoron.

0600 – 1/2 – 1800
0430 Out walking the dog for the 20 minute walk. 0600 In the office and right away tending to all that requires attention. Feeling fairly well, on the upside nothing radical I suppose. My desktop computer is acting up a bit tho I suppose I will survive or don’t really care for I will be on vacation. 1020 I have just spent the last 90 minutes with Darth Desolus
discussing business growth and what I see my stratiges to be. I was looking to Darth Desolus for direction and if the two us us see in like ways, which we did not and he proceeded to tell me what his thoughts were and by the time we were done I had no clue as to what he wants to do so it will remain status quo. We did conclude that we would bring Nas Choka out from New republic to Interview and possibly render an offer to.

For those of you who did not get the opportunity to download my last book WHICH IS FREE, here is my email Bipolar@BipolarDiary.com, just send me an email asking that I send you a link for the download.

0600 – N/L – 1630
As many know there has been an absence of many weeks while I have been transitioning from a public server and Blog to my own. I will continue as previously, so please do not fret, for as we have learned over the years it is extremely hard for me to focus at times and some may have been charting the swing over the years and may have an idea of what will occur and when.

For those who are new to this: WELCOME, be careful of what you ask for.

Hey everyone I am beginning to get everything up on the new blog and it will take awhile to get the rest of the history back, lots of formatting for the blog I had been on for 5 years was not entirley compatible but I will get it back up for I DO know that many of you out there really appericiate it. 
0600 Right off Jabba the Hut comes in plants his fat ass jawjacking. 0630 Moving on and beginning with the day. 0800 Darth Desolus in! 0900 Give Jan Ors info Monday that the copier/printer has issues needing serviced and today I tell her again with her reply being it is on the list which obviously translattes to she FORGOT! Office Manager may ass! The saga goes on 1630 Time to go home, so I am gone.

For those of you who did not get the opportunity to download my last book WHICH IS FREE, here is my email Bipolar@BipolarDiary.com, just send me an email asking that I send you a link for the download.

0600 – N/L – 1830
Pretty chilly out this morning, did the 20 minute doggie walk. Some drizzly on the way in to work this morn, not much tho. 0600 Did expense report reminder went off. Tidy up email. Get into Death Star . Jan Ors out with a migrain. Count Dooku needs access to an old directory. Met with Ponda Babba on this and that with Yuuzhan Vong work a gimme also a Sewer Plant at 730k. Met with Dexter Jettster on the upcoming big work/projects, Darth Vader busy and not in attendance bizzy with the other group and Darth Desolus is on vacation. 1100 Met with Chewbacca about the Second Death Star mine and how to bid and price. probaly not much help? 1200 Spent the rest of the day on doing an 88t8 tutor workbook for everyone.

At some point during the day I have realized that I have not experienced such lows in many years. A few months ago I had a run at medication monitored by my General Physican that I had quit taking. Today I began again to be medicated while I search for a shrink.

For those of you who did not get the opportunity to download my last book WHICH IS FREE, here is my email Bipolar@BipolarDiary.com, just send me an email asking that I send you a link for the download.