Bipolar Diary

Let me start off with that many people that read this blog are those who have to deal with or professionally treat bipolars. My endings to my blogging is a plea for you to share, I know even those who are close to or may even love, God Bless You – Those who love a bipolar! there is many who know as well as I how difficult the bipolar is so! you need to share here on this very blog your feelings or experiences by either being a bipolar or the bipolar experience. Share, you will feel good in doing so.

BTW, If you are are shrink in the greater metropolitan area of Denver CO I desperately need you!

Well what do you know here it is 2 days in a row, can’t tell yo when the last time that happened. I swear that I am not feeling well enough to be doing this let alone 2 days in a row. Does a bipolar really use crutches. I mean aren’t they strong enough to stand alone? In answer to that when you have a host of raving demons in your head constantly how would you be able to function?

I had a thought that I was going to throw down here but it has left me for the moment and I dare say probably forever. At the present time I am without shrink. I have been without shrink since March of 2003. Have I been doing alright? Now what would you say seeing me stand around here asking questions and then answering them. NO! I am not OK and I have not been frigging OK since 2003. I did have a brief stint with I believe 2 shrinks and a GP who thought he was a shrink and could manage my medicine but almost poisoned me cept for the fact that I could read a lab report seeing that 2500 of Depakote was way over a therapeutic level and I weaned my self of my med and NO! I ain’t ok!

3 Years ago I quit a job that I had been on for 28 years (bipolars don’t like change) but I was delusional and felt I was being unmercifully being persecuted ( I wasn’t I now know)

I now have a host of screaming demons with me constantly on my current job and if it keeps up I am going to go stark raving mad. It hurts alot and I don’t know what to do. DO you?

A gift for my patient readers and followers

I may not have mentioned it but I really enjoy photography and can actually say
that I do pretty well by it. Sooner or later I will try to get a gallery of photos that I take up and can say that amoung other things I am a pretty good writer also. I have written a number of ebooks, mostly on internet subjects and how-to for craigslist, twitter, google adsense and other popular marketing subjects. For my faithful readers I will make available totaly FREE to you, any and all if you desire just send me an email to ebooks@bipolarydiary.com tell what you would like or what type of ebooks you like or just ask for the whole list of what I have available. Yours FREE as I said for being one of my faithful readers and if you like I will do the same for all your family and friends. Not cost, no gimmick.

I will end on that note – keep reading, learn, live happy and share.

YES! Share. A note about that.

PLEASE, PLEASE! Leave a comment below telling me of yourself, about your affliction and how it affects you. You can state you comment is PRIVATE to me or you would like to share it with all of my readers. Leave some sort of note telling me what you like about my writing, what you don’t like. Is there something you would like to see me write about, am I lucid enough to be understandable. Are you feeling my pain and my joy? Tell me, please if you would. Share your thoughts and message with me.

Do You Like The videos and pictures? Do You Want More? email me and let me know bipolarguy@bipolardiary.com or write it in my comments.

It must be tiring ready that every time I get around to it that I am feeling bad. I am. Odd thing I was soaking in the hot tub head underwater breath held eyes closed, hard. Then it happened I had a flash back to when I was twelve and running around capital hill. It was as if it was yesterday. When I reflect on this I realize that I have these flash backs as if it was yesterday, clear as day, I can feel the emotion and the pain. Pain because I was not living at home, I was 12 years old and a runaway. Thing was a usual occurrence living at home under the situation as I was. The situation, my parents not know that I was bipolar, I didn’t know I was bipolar. The just knew I was a really bad kid but not why. Back then, in the 60′s I am not sure kids were allowed to be mentally ill or even recognized that the possibility could exist, I was just a bad boy or possessed with the devil now there I can relate even to this day.

San Francisco from across the bay taken April 3 2010

Today, I am still feeling bad and it has been awhile since I felt a # 1 OK. This shit is killing me because I have set a number of gals to accomplish and this is putting a serious frigging dent I my ability to get it done. My famous call to action but so simple I can hardly say I coined the phrase.

I may not have mentioned it but I really enjoy photography and can actually say
that I do pretty well by it. Sooner or later I will try to get a gallery of photos that I take up and can say that amoung other things I am a pretty good writer also. I have written a number of ebooks, mostly on internet subjects and how-to for craigslist, twitter, google adsense and other popular marketing subjects. For my faithful readers I will make available totaly FREE to you, any and all if you desire just send me an email to ebooks@bipolarydiary.com tell what you would like or what type of ebooks you like or just ask for the whole list of what I have available. Yours FREE as I said for being one of my faithful readers and if you like I will do the same for all your family and friends. Not cost, no gimmick.

I will end on that note – keep reading, learn, live happy and share.

YES! Share. A note about that.

PLEASE, PLEASE! Leave a comment below telling me of yourself, about your affliction and how it affects you. You can state you comment is PRIVATE to me or you would like to share it with all of my readers. Leave some sort of note telling me what you like about my writing, what you don’t like. Is there something you would like to see me write about, am I lucid enough to be understandable. Are you feeling my pain and my joy? Tell me, please if you would. Share your thoughts and message with me.

Do You Like The Pictures? Do You Want More? email me and let me know bipolarguy@bipolardiary.com or write it in my comments.

There really is no way to explain my inability to focus and to get to this exact point in writing was by carrying a note around in my pocket for the last 3 days.

I have so much greatness buried inside that if I could just get to it and bring it out that would be wonderful.

I am a business professional who hangs by a thread daily because of the delusions and paranoia that overwhelms me constantly as a monster under the bed does, but much much more worse. I had a really good job that I was on for 28 years and then I felt a certain individual was relentlessly antagonizing me to the point I left and now have my current and have been here for the last 3 years. The move was more money; I was my own boss, leader of a department and more money that I would’ve attained in 3 more years at the 28 place.

So what is my problem? I really did like the 28 place and had many many friends but I left, all that I gained at the new place were not issues. Quite frankly I truthfully can not say if there were any issues.